9 Steps to Becoming a More Effective Parent
Daftar Isi
Being a parent, of course, you have to make as much time as possible to educate your children. This is very important, because many parents fail in educating their children.
Therefore you as a parent should pay attention to this from an early age. So that your child can be a great and smart child.
Here are 9 steps that can be tried in educating children more effectively
1. Increase Your Child's Self-Esteem
Children begin to develop a sense of themselves as babies when they see themselves through their parents' eyes. Your tone of voice, your body language, and your every expression are absorbed by your children. Your words and actions as a parent affect their development of self-esteem more than anything else.
Praising accomplishments, however small, will make them feel proud; letting children do things independently will make them feel capable and strong. On the other hand, belittling comments or comparing a child unfavorably to others will make children feel worthless.
Avoid making loaded statements or using words as weapons. Comments like "What a stupid thing to do!" or "You're acting more like a baby than your sister!" causing damage such as physical blows.
Choose your words with care and compassion. Let your children know that everyone makes mistakes and that you still love them, even when you don't love their behavior.
2. Catch Kids Being Good
Have you ever stopped to think about how many times you reacted negatively to your children on any given day? You may find yourself criticizing more than praising. How do you feel about a boss treating you with so much negative guidance, even if it means well?
A more effective approach is to catch kids doing something right: "You made your bed without being asked — that's great!" or "I saw you playing with your sister and you were very patient." These statements will encourage good behavior in the long run rather than repeated nagging.
Make it a point to find something to compliment each day. Being generous with gifts — your love, hugs, and compliments can work wonders and are often quite rewarded. Soon you will find that you are "growing" more of the behavior you want to see.
3. Set Limits and Be Consistent With Your Discipline
Discipline is needed in every household. The purpose of discipline is to help children choose acceptable behavior and learn self-control. They may be testing the boundaries you set for them, but they need those boundaries to grow into responsible adults.
Setting house rules helps children understand your expectations and develop self-control. Some of the rules might include: no TV watching until homework is done, and no hurtful hitting, teasing, or teasing.
You might want to have a system: one warning, followed by consequences like "timeout" or loss of privileges. A common mistake parents make is failure to act on the consequences. You can't discipline kids to talk back one day and ignore them the next. Being consistent teaches what you expect.
4. Make Time for Your Kids
It is often difficult for parents and children to get together for a family meal, let alone spend quality time together. But maybe there's nothing the kids like better. Get up 10 minutes early in the morning so you can have breakfast with your child or leave the dishes in the sink and go for a walk after dinner. Children who don't get the attention they want from their parents often misbehave or misbehave because they are bound to get noticed that way.
Many parents find it enjoyable to schedule time with their children. Create a "special night" every week to get together and let your kids help decide how to spend time. Find another way to connect — put a note or something special in your child's lunchbox.
Teenagers seem to need less undivided attention from their parents than younger children. Because there are fewer windows of opportunity for parents and teens to get together, parents should do their best to be available when their teen expresses a desire to talk or participate in family activities. Attending concerts, games, and other events with your teen communicates concern and allows you to get to know more about your child and their friends in important ways.
Don't feel guilty if you are a working parent. Many of the little things you do — making popcorn, playing cards, window shopping — that kids will remember.
5. Be a Good Example
Young children learn a lot about how to act by watching their parents. The younger they are, the more cues they take from you. Before you hit or blow up your boss in front of your child, think about this: Would you want your child to behave that way when angry? Realize that you are constantly being watched by your children. Research has shown that children who spank usually have role models for aggression at home.
Model the qualities you would like to see in your children: respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, tolerance. Demonstrate selfless behavior. Do something for others without expecting anything in return. Say thank you and give compliments. Above all, treat your children as you would expect others to treat you.
6. Make Communication a Priority
You can't expect your kids to do everything just because you, as a parent, "say so." They want and deserve explanations just as much as adults. If we don't take the time to explain, children will start to wonder about our values and motives and whether they have any basis. Parents who reason with their children enable them to understand and learn in a non-judgmental way.
Make your expectations clear. If there is a problem, explain it, express how you feel, and invite your child to work out a solution with you. Be sure to include consequences. Make suggestions and offer options. Be open to your child's suggestions as well. Negotiation. Children who participate in decision making are more motivated to implement them.
7. Be Flexible and Willing to Customize Your Parenting Style
If you frequently feel "let down" by your child's behavior, you may have unrealistic expectations. Parents who think "should" (for example, "My child needs to be potty trained now") may find it helpful to read about the issue or talk to other parents or child development specialists.
Children's environment influences their behavior, so you may be able to change that behavior by changing your environment. If you find yourself constantly saying "no" to your 2-year-old, find ways to change your environment so that fewer things are off limits. This will cause less frustration for both of you.
As your child changes, you must gradually change your parenting style. Chances are, what works with your child now won't work out well in a year or two.
Adolescents tend to look to their parents less and more to their peers for role models. But continue to provide proper guidance, encouragement, and discipline while allowing your teen to gain more independence. And take advantage of every available moment to make connections!
8. Show That Your Love Is Unconditional
As a parent, you are responsible for correcting and guiding your children. But how you express your corrective guidance makes all the difference in how a child receives it.
When you have to deal with your child, avoid blaming, criticizing, or finding fault, which can hurt self-esteem and can lead to resentment. Instead, try to nurture and encourage, even when disciplining your children. Make sure they know that even though you want and hope for better next time, your love is there no matter what.
9. Know Your Own Needs and Limitations as a Parent
Face it — you're an imperfect parent. You have strengths and weaknesses as a family leader. Know your abilities - "I love and dedicated." Vow to overcome your weaknesses — "I need to be more consistent with discipline." Try to have realistic expectations for yourself, your partner, and your children. You don't have to have all the answers - forgive yourself.
And try to make parenting a manageable job. Focus on the areas that need the most attention rather than trying to tackle them all at once. Just admit it when you're tired. Take time away from parenting to do things that will make you happy.
Focusing on your needs doesn't make you selfish. This means you care about your own well-being, which is another important value to set an example for your children.
